I am a Hulkamanic! I am a styling, profiling, limousine riding, jet flying, wheeling and dealing, kiss stealing son of a gun! I am the Showstopper, The ICON, Mr. Wrestlemania, The Main Event, The Heartbreak Kid! OK - I'll stop there, even though I could go on and on and on..... Like millions of fans worldwide, I am a proud Wrestling Junkie! I complied this list which I think Wrestling fans will find amusing. If you have any great lines you'd like to share, e-mail me at Dave.Hanson@coxradio.com. Your submission will be posted on this page!
You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When.......
- You describe your bowling style as "an underhand Mandible Claw"
- You and your friends walk around calling yourselves "The Impact Players"
- You pile-drive your pet cat for no apparent reason.
- You can't drink a bottle of water without tilting your head back and spitting a mouthful out
- After sex you shout, "WHOOOOOOO!"
- On your resume you write "I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be"
- Instead of hugging relatives you give them bear hugs & mandible claws
- You begin to shake someone's hand in public, but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response
- You tell your significant other, "Not tonight, I'm watching RAW"
- Every time you sit down a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault it
- On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"
- After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back
- You elbow smash your dog & turn him/her over for the three count
- You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason
- You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage or grudge match would settle everything.
- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.
- Instead of punishing your kids by grounding them, you threaten them with stunners, choke slams & tombstones
- At a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant.
- Your girlfriend dumps you and you tell her there's no way she'll ever "play with the big boys," and that she will never get past mid-card status.
- You search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
- If you quit your Job because you have to find your "Smile."
- If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
- You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.
- You rate women on a scale of Chyna to Stacy.
- If whenever you walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music."
- If you get into an argument with a co-worker and challenge him to a loser must retire match.
- You are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone cheats, you turn your head.
- If you refer to all the women in your work area your valets.
- You think a tilt-a-whirl looks fun.
- Your teacher gives you detention, so you give him a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers.
- You won't come out of your room until your parents play your theme on the radio.
- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.
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